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She sat down, but was trembling. "Robert, I'm prepared to do whatever we have to do to save this marriage," she began. "I know things aren't working for us in bed, but I'll do anything to make you happy. If there's someone else, just tell me." Robert smiled as she told him this, and his smile infuriated her. How dare he, she thought. "There's no one else, Jayne," he said, still smiling. "You know that you're the only woman I've ever loved, don't you? I can't recall the last time I even looked at another woman the way I look at you." "But Robert, what's wrong? Why aren't you interested in me sexually? I must have done something to upset you at some point, or else you would want me." "But I do want you, Jayne. It's just that I know I can't satisfy you sexually anymore. We try, but I don't measure up to you. You have a very high-charged libido and I can't perform to the level you need." "That's not true, Robert," said Jayne. "You are just going through a rough time right now." "Jayne,. And how he betrayed me. He did something to me. He changed me. And the person he changed me into ... well, she scares me." What do you mean?" I thought I was a victim because I allowed myself to be hurt, and because I tried to follow the rules. I thought as long as I had negative emotions-- guilt, sorrow, hurt-- then people could take advantage of me. So I threw all of that off, threw off all of my inhibitions, and became the same thing that Matt was: a monster. I hated him, but I also realized that he wasn't a victim because he didn't feel guilt." What are you saying, Lissa?" I might as well tell you. For about a month, I was ... well, I was a slut." I'm not sure I want to hear this, Lissa." Please just listen, Dad. I did whatever I wanted, to whomever I wanted. My motto was 'damn the consequences.' It felt so liberating, so exciting. But at the same time, I was becoming a horrible person. I was willing to sacrifice even my friends and family to get what I wanted."And then I fell in.
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